2016/08/23

「 NEW PLAN 」

I've noticed that i start being here closer to autumn every year. But be sure i thinking about it every time but both have no time and having a little bit nothing happening in my life. But about this you can check out in my new post that i'll make may be today's evening or tomorrow. 
I have a little tradition of making a plan for a year. Little things that i need to do in this time. But since my life is a little piece of ... you know... and routine i didn't do it in a NY. And it will be a little plan with huge ambitions. So i do it now with a period till the next Aug.

End with my current job
Do min 10-20 projects of Web-Programming
Start classes of Game Design
Draw much more to level up my skills
Start with a new company in this scope
Level up my English language knowledges
Enter the University of Languages with Japanese (may be)

I was so inspired when opened official site of Blizzard, watching 'New Game' and 'Sakurasou no Pet na Kanojo', looking through the instagram of thebentofox, tarre_nekomatahime, chouchama, and rightmew. I'm very gratefull to all of them as they doing what they want so I really desided to escape from my routine-cage world and start my life with a clean slate.
Thank you guys from Blizzard! Thank you girls!
.: T H E  E N D :.

2016/06/05

[ Long time no see + Mental and physical health ]



Hello everyone! 
I noticed that every year i'm forgetting about blogspot for the spring season. But it's not totally forgotten. I always thinking about writing something but i have nothing to.
Even if i wrote last and this post with emojis i had a strong feeling of emptiness.
I started to visit a Psycho because of the addiction to desapear, emptiness and a tough feeling of suicide. So i have a diagnosis as Depression on the background of autopsychical depersonalisation of the 2 and 3 types. I guess it'll sound like this in english.

Now i have a dream to quit the University. To study at classes of IT and Web Design and find a job at this sphere.
Also because of my health. With my job now i have a herniated disk. Feel like a walking dead now.
Too frustrating.


One gratefull thing is i like my photos i mad last time. 

Blooming Sakura 
 

The sport style dress i bought 
  


The others i will post a little later i guess.

.: T H E  E N D :.


2016/01/14

「 Happy 2016 + study and work routine + photos 」


Listening Rob Zombie's songs make my mood a little bit better but...
Yesterday I had a test which i totally failed. I had F. And tomorow, the day after tomorow and the day after the day after tomorow i will have exams. And i'm not ready for it because of my job.

And this is not as bad as it is seemed. 'Cause i have been rised. Since the beginning of December i started to study of how to be a Manager at our company and how to control the work-time and workers. And with the beginning of 2016 Company made me a present - i'm at my appointment! Yaaaa-ay!~


But anyway all my doings are so bad that i even doesn't want to live. 
I'm ruining my relationships with my own hands. I'm extremely tired of breathing. I don't know what to do with self-control and my studying. I'm so fucked with some situations at work.


BUT I started thinking about entering the University somewhere in Finland. May be it's only winter and that the storm Daniella come so i'm thinking about snowy Finland nature and deers. Offtop:I have some kind of addiction to deers and whales. I'm going to the thing that I always wanted to go to Sweden and something is going wrong.
Finland is calm and beautiful country, i guess.

And also i have a bee in the bonnet to have my own apartment and make a total renovation in High-tech and minimallism styles. WANTITWANTITWANT 

I want to post some pictures of the XMas-day. 
01.12.16 10:19p.m.

A few moments later . . . 

So, as i said before here we go! 
The tastiest Christmas pie with marzipan. If you haven't tried ir yet you have to!






We watched 'Home Alone 2' on the national TV and it was only the 2nd time i've watched this. 



And if it is 2 days i'm doing this post i was passed my first exam and the second for today so i'm really good with it even if i doesn't want to study there. 
BUT it'll be the last exam tomorow of English speaking and i'm extremely nervous about it because i did nothing on prepairing time. Yeah... I didn't learnt any of active vocabulary and didn't wrote none of 16 themes. 
And i want to take a bath but have no time to. 
I realise that i have to learn it. English is the most importaint thing from those i'm studying. So it'll be better if i go to study. 
BYE!

.: T H E  E N D :.

2015/11/16

[ World War 3 ]

Hello everyone!
For todays post i want just talk about unnamed WW3, Peace and Pain. 

To be honest i extremely can't understand such staying on the religion. I'm not a religious person. The one religion that i can stand and approving is shinto. The most peacefull religion i think. And i can't understand how people can so easy kill other people for religion. And there's nothing else but religion as they say.
And if there's ISIS and Al Kaida and so on who turned our world to the 3d World War which was going to the most peacefull, helpfull to each other times. I think I can name it WW3 even if there's not oficial now. But how it can be named but this if the whole world stood still in a fear that they'll be next, in war for such a stupid things as such religion, as territory, as World Control. Who need this? People all around want to live in peace, love and respect to each other. They just want to travel, make their careers, families, they want to graduate and so on. They just want to live. This world is really disgusting because all the people is such a small things in Universe but there're people can't stand it and want to rule just to prove themselves their strength, power and inhumanity. If weak shows you canine he's scared. So what? All those terror-groupes just scared of the world, they envy the other world which is going to become better, richer or what? Is it just religion or their shield from fear?


Yesterday i've found out so many post about young girls who was addicted to go there. I was really scared about how terrorists can brainwash. One of the girls asked the man who asked her to come to Syria to marry him "Is it true that i could carry the real sumachine-gun?"
What the *uck?! Why this world is going so much down?
We just started to help each other. We just started to carry about people with no food, water and the roof. We started to be kind. And we can't go somewhere to help some guy without water in the midle of the Sahara idk just because of the fear of airplane crush or bombed railway station. What the hell?


The only place i'm watching news is Euronews and their replaying news about Paris is making me to cry. I'm not feeling that i want to cry or something, i'm not feeling any emotion. But just imagining through what hell alive people went, what they feel now, that fear and unbelieve it hapened to them, they're alive. And those one who gone, what they thought about, what they feel, and their relatives who imaging this things. This pain from this tragedy is like a cloud overhead.
I've read a story of girl who pretened being dead lying in someones blood just trying to save her life at the Bataclan's club. About people who she saw dying, about the young pair whose last words were "I love you". That's so terrifing and touchfull.

The little backdown. People on the social media is angry for people who are focused only on Paris. If so that doesn't matter that people are not thinking or praying for others, Bangkok or Beirut. We're not hear much about this cities and their countries and innocent people from there. No. But we are just acustomed to hear and know those area being at war and struggles. That's all. All people know that there're people who want to escape from there and they also want live in peace.

This World is not safe. Why can't the whole other world stand together by the side forgetting about their sruggle and incomprehension and defeat this enemy? For just a one time? One struggle, one war?

Why we can understand that we love someone, want to protect him/her just in such awefull situations? Why do we need war to understand that we're all the same and want the same things? Why do we need war to understand that not money but just living in safety is happiness?

.: THE END :.