[ Pride ]

The week of pride is on tumblr! Be free of who you are! 

[ tries ]

It's difficult to be additced from the person you love, isn't it? 

Some years ago I was free in my actions and thoughts. I did things I wanted and there was no matter what she think about it. In this years that we're together there was some happenings when we could chuck. And most of this moments were because of me. 

Feeling apologise I've lost myself. 

And now I want her to hurt me once more. I think because of those happenings I lost my emotions and now all I'm scared at is to make her confused at any of my actions. Because of this I have no friends and my life is just to wait her come back to me from her parents. 

It's the forth month that we live in different cities. Almost every day we're at the videochat and in this 4 months we met only once. I know some people have no oportunity to see each other for years... 

But it would be better if I hadn't sell my heat and soul for her. 

I'm really jealous to people who can be happy and do what they want. 

I just hope she could make me feel the pain and she could hurt me. Also if she can't do it now. I just really want it. I want to feel myself alive again. 

It's hard to understand that I'm only 19 and have such serious relations and have no oportunity to live like my coevals.

I try to make my life that I want and I just hope that my time to be really happy is not come yet. 

I hope I could relearn how to smile and feel the life and take all I want and create things. 

I believe I deserve it. Am I?

It wasn't a "cry"-post. This is just a little story and I don't know yet is it hopefull or hopless. I just believe. 

This is a post of believing a good life.

 .: THE END :. 

[ HAPPY BDAY, URU! ]

HAPPY B-DAY, URU! 

[ D.A. + Munchkin + news + selfhate ]

I just need some cute and new things in my life. 

So.. I want to talk a little bit about the things is going on and a little bit about myself (it'll be annoying). 
I'm not very interesting person, i guess. And my life is just like work-home-work-home and nothing else. I do very much things to make friendship with people but i don't know why they really don't need my person. That's why i'm crying in words now.
I guess the only reason why i'm unhappy is me. I hate my home and people i live with, i hate my time which i can't spend with good things, i spend too much money to things i could bought later so i have no money to necessary things and to my future.

Ok, i hope it's the end of such story and I could make a better post now.

I will start with a news that I had a new job at online-bookstore. And we give people their orders and can sell them books that we have at our shop.

 

Also I get my proof I'm working there 

And continue will be about event that was created by our admins - event with the ludo Munchkin. I tried to understand rules of the game but i couldn't. Anyway I should work and not listening how they play (w). There was a girl: not cute, not beautiful, she had nothing special. But one moment... All the 5 hours of the game i was just like "Hey, wtf r u starin at me?!". She was just like maniac: she fixed at me and smiled very scary...

 

Also it was very funny but almost all of the players were 'metal-guys' 

Ok, and now i'll make a little photo-comment. The next week, two days ago there was autograph-session that had place at our shop. Russian musician Diana Arbenina came to us to a fan-event and give interview to our press bout her new book 'Sprinter'.



But something went wrong and out of plan, so many people have stayed uncontended. But it's an end of the story. And now photos:

 

I was at one photo at the back of the son of Diana 

 

*drums* Diana!

 

I think to make a plan of the day with all my little things. Do you have something like that?

 .: THE END :.